Being the new girl in a group is never necessarily fun or easy. The thought of being totally rejected, eating alone in a bathroom Mean-Girls style comes to mind… lol. But for real, being the new girl is probably not anyones’ favorite thing ever. Being a military wife, I am CONSTANTLY meeting new people and going to new groups. The first one is always a tad nerve-wrecking especially if I don’t know anyone there already! I just call it “New Girl Anxiety.” lol.
It has gotten easier for me to continue to go to new groups/meetings though, so I thought I would share what helps me! So here is how I avoid the dreaded “new girl anxiety” in 4 little tips and 4 little truths! I hope these are helpful for you too!
4 Truths for New Girl Anxiety
“Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9, CSB
If you need a bit of extra courage, just remember that God doesn’t command us to be afraid! He commands us to be strong and courageous and tells us that He is with us…whether we’re going into the Promised Land like the Isrealites here or into a group where we don’t know anyone! 🙂
“…Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”
Esther 4:41, NKJV
You never know why God has you where He does. But that’s the thing….He has you RIGHT where He wants you. Trust in that.
“Peace I leave with you My peace I give to you . I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let you heart be troubled or fearful.”
John 14:27, CSB
Being the new girl can for sure be nerve-wrecking! So remember that Jesus will give you His peace when you are nervous! Say a prayer for peace before you walk in and trust that He will not let your heart be anxious!
“Commit your works to the Lord and your thoughts will be established.”
Proverbs 16:3, NKJV
This one seems odd, I know, but if you view each new group you’re a part of as a chance to shine God’s light and commit your presence there to Him, then I bet you’ll feel lots more at ease going into the group the first few times!
4 Tips for New Girl Anxiety
Remember that everyone was new once.
This is probably what helps me the most when I’m thrown into a new group of girls! Whether it be at a job, a group, a meeting, whatever…. everyone was new at some point! Just remembering that helps me because it reminds me that everyone has been in my shoes. And chances are, they were just as uncomfortable as I am right then. So if you’re feeling awkward/nervous in a new group setting, just remember that most likely the other girls there weren’t as relaxed in their beginning as they appear now and that you too will get to a spot of feeling comfortable in your new setting! It just might take a time or two being there and around those girls/people!
Ask follow up questions.
Another thing that I think weighs on girls going into new group settings is “What if we have nothing in common and therefore nothing to talk about?!” Totally been there. The best thing I have found to do is to foucs on the other person and ask follow up questions. Simply asking, “What’s your favorite thing about that?” “How did you get started doing that?” or saying “I don’t know alot about that- what is it like?!” can spark conversation and help you relax in the group! And once you started chatting, you never know where that conversation will take you!
Don’t let differences intimidate you.
The first time I walked into a meeting of military wives, I was really intimidated because it was the first time in my life that I had been in a group where we didn’t have a shared activity or interest in common. Instead, it was our lifestyles. And we are all SO different! But honestly, that is what I LOVE about being a military wife! I have made tons of new friends who are so different from me, but that is what I have come to love about them!! And at the same token, I have also made lots of friends who are very similar to me too! So don’t let people being different from you intimidate you- embrace it! And realize that if you’re in a group setting of some sort, chances are you have at least one thing in common. For me, it was our husbands/lifestyles. So if you just don’t know what to talk about or relate to someone about, you can always restort back to the one thing that brought you to the group in general!
Remember your story is unique to you!
As you are getting to know people, they will want to get to know you too. So don’t be embarrassed about your story or think it’s not as good as anyone else’s! God has written your story just the way He wanted to, so don’t be afraid to share it with others! After all, no one has your exact story but you!
I hope that these tips and truths can help you feel a little bit more at ease the next time you walk into maybe an uncomfortable or unfamiliar group of people!
Do you have any tips for me?!