Happy Military Monday! This topic DEFINITELY isn’t only for military girls, because probably most couples face it at some point or another…being “long-distance.” But I would say 9 out of 10 military girls probably deal with this on the reg…I just went through a stretch of it, so it’s fresh on my mind!
My hubs and I were long-distance the entire time we were dating. I’m sharing today what helped me get through the long-distance dating and what still does help me when he’s gone for work trips.
1. Use the time apart to get to know each other better. If you’re apart, to grow in your relationship, you have no choice but to talk and communicate with one another. So even if you’ve been married for years, ask each other questions. Play little games like “would you rather” or ask “anything goes” questions to each other! Figure out a way to get to know each other better while you’re gone. Seeing each other is SO much more fun when you feel like you know some new things about your boy or have shared some fun secrets while he’s been gone!
2. Don’t freak out if your boy isn’t talking to you every second of the day! Just because you’re not hearing from your boy as often as you normally do or as often as you would like to isn’t a reason to freak out or get annoyed or angry with him. I always knew that my hubs wanted to talk to me and did whenever it was a good time for him, even when we were dating. I had the choice to either freak out because I didn’t hear from him or to just be happy when I got to, so I went with the latter. haha. Plus, if you’re talking 24/7, you will probably run out of things to say alot quicker than if some time passes and you need to fill each other in on the day or few days or whatever!
3. Send “remind me to tell you” texts. My memory is about as good as a goldfish’s, so this is really helpful for me! haha! If something happens during the day that you definitely want to tell your boy about whether it be funny, serious or both, send a quick text that says “remind me to tell you about…” and then don’t give lots of details! When I do this, it normally triggers my brain when we do get to talk that I wanted to share something with him even if he forgets to remind me! Plus, if it’s something random or funny, it will bring a little laughter to your boy’s day and get him excited to talk to you!
3. Figure out a few things that you can still do together despite being apart. Read the same book (my hubs and I are reading through the Bible together this year) or watch a movie while FaceTiming and talking about it or go eat at the same restaurant on the same day and call each other while you’re sitting there or chat while you’re both getting ready in the morning. Just figure out something that would be normal if you were physically together that you can still make work!
4. Let each other know that you’re thinking about them during the day. So this is important to do even if you aren’t long distance (lol), but I feel like I am even more conscious of doing this when my hubby is gone. Send a photo of something y’all always do or a link to a funny meme or just a “thinking about you” text. I LOVE those little Bitmojis for this kind of thing- sweet, cute, and I think some of them are HILARIOUS. lol. I just love hearing from my hubby mid-day, especially while he’s gone, so be the first to make this effort!
5. Focus on the countdown of when you get to see each other again, not on how long you’ve been apart. This one is just choosing to see the positive instead of the negative side of things. Instead of focusing on how many days or how long you have been apart, count down the number of days until you get to see each other again. It’s hard to go days, weeks, or months on end without seeing your boy in person! No doubt about that. We were lucky and got to see each other semi-often for how far apart we actually lived while we were dating. But, it always helped me to know how many days were left until we got to see each other again and count down instead of counting up. This is just a mind-game I think, but we would always tell each other “only two more weeks now” or “we’re in single digits!” or whatever the countdown was. This makes seeing each other even more exciting because you have been counting down building up the anticipation and almost making a game of it! Usually we will start out with weeks, then switch to days once we hit the one week left mark!
If you’re in a long distance realtionship, I can definitely tell you that these tips did and still do help me make it through missing my hubby! I think a big part of the reason we got married so quickly was because we both hated not being able to just be together all the time! So we wanted out of the long-distance thing ASAP. Granted, he is gone alot still, but it is so sweet to get to see him as often as I do now.
What’s some you and your boy always do when you have to be apart?! I would love some new tips for me and mine!
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