Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV) reads “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” Woah. Not going to go into how much pressure I instantly put on myself to be this “good thing” and help my husband feel like he has found favor from the Lord, BUT I do want to delve into WHY I think God says this in Proverbs….but this takes us back to the Garden of Eden.
Before God created woman, he says, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Genesis 2:18). It is after God says this that he creates Eve.
Eve was created different than Adam…comparable to him. She was created to be a “helper”. And “helper” is defined as “one who helps.” Here are just a few of the several definitions “help” has according to Merriam Webster’s.
- to be of assistance or support to
- to make more pleasant or bearable
- to be of use to; benefit
In thinking about ways that I can be a “helper”, one of the big things that always comes to mind is figuring out how I can support my husband in/at his job. With him being in the military, days are long, schedules are unpredictable, he’s gone quite a bit, and there are chunks of time where he is with his “boys” more than me. But I NEVER want him to feel like I don’t support him or I’m not proud of him for what he does or that I’m not incredibly grateful to him for providing for us.
With all that being said, here are just a few ideas that I think are easy to implement to support your husband as he works to provide for you and your family. I would still do these things even if I was working too- they might look a little different, but like I said, I think all of these can be easily implemented into your routine/life to let your husband know that you stand behind him and support him 100%. So get creative with this list and show your husband some supportive love!
6 Ways to Support Your Husband with His Job
1. Ask questions about your husband’s job and be sensitive to his responses.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NKJV)
Is your husband seeming really stressed out? Does he have a big project coming up? Is he in charge of a new group of people all the sudden? Ask questions about what is ging on at his workplace and genuinely listen. After you listen, check back in with him about what he has shared whenever the time is right. Obviously, don’t pry and pry if he doesn’t want to talk about his job, but let him know that it’s okay if he does. Be the person he can turn to to vent about things if he needs to or talk things out with.
2. Be present at his workplace.
“But Ruth said: Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.” Ruth 1:16 (NKJV)
Is there a work party coming up? A BBQ over the weekend? Can you take your husband lunch to work once and a while? Swing by his favorite Starbucks drink? When I got married, I wanted to be as involved in my husband’s workplace as I could. Being in the military, he does have quite a few get togethers, functions, etc that come up that wives are able to attend, which is SO great. I know alot of jobs don’t really have opportunities like that. But I try not to miss anything if I don’t have to. I want to get to know his co-workers the best that I can, not only so that I can place faces to names, but so that I can better serve him when we are talking about work. I also want for it to be clear to others that I support him and stand behind him 100%. So be as involved as you can; show your face around your hubby’s office. Take him lunch, drop off a coffee, go to the work parties even if they’re on a weekend or you would rather sleep in. Showing up shows your husband that you care, so be as present as you can (obviously without being crazy or overbearing…lol).
3. Don’t complain about the time that your husband spends working.
“Do all things without complaining and disputing…” Philippians 2:14 (NKJV)
Like I mentioned before, my hubs spends ALOT of time at work. And when we first got married, it was SO easy to complain about it. But then the more and more that I dove into God’s Word and what He commands wives to do, the more I realized that I need to be thankful that my husband is willing and able to provide for the both of us instead of complaining about the time that it takes for him to do that. And who wants to come home every night to someone complaining/nagging at them for being gone so long when they were working to help sustain you anyways? So, even if your husband has horrible hours, choose to make the time that you do have with him joyful and happy, not filled with complaints and words that will only make him feel worse, not better.
4. Encourage him.
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)
Tell him thank you. Let him know you’re proud of him. Tell others about what he does and let him hear you. Praise him if he gets a promotion or an award or does something well. Let him know that you are grateful and proud of him and what he does. If he has a hard day at work or is going through a tough season there, then be EXTRA encouraging. I can COMPLETELY tell that my husband LOVES it when I tell him thank you for providing for us and that I’m proud of him. He always tells me that it makes him want to be better and work harder. So even if it’s just once a week, start encouraging your husband.
5. Make home a place of rest for him.
“And thus you shall say to him who lives in prosperity: Peace be to you, peace to your house, and peace to all that you have!” 1 Samuel 25:6 (NKJV)
I don’t know anyone who does any job that doesn’t get a tiny bit stressed out at times. And it probably doesn’t feel great to then come to your home and it be full of mass pandemonium. So make home a place of comfort, rest, and sweet times for your husband in whatever way you can do that in your current season. I don’t think that this always means that your house has to be spotless and dinner HAS to be on the table when he walks in the door, but I do think that he should feel happy to be coming home to you, not start anticipating that he will also be stressed out at home when he leaves work. And if he gets home and needs a second or two of peace and quiet to himself or some time to unwind and drink a beer or play a few minutes of videogames or whatever, then give it to him. And again, try not to complain about it. I notice that the days that I do make a comment about my husband needing some space are the days that he needs it for longer whereas if I just give it to him without saying anything, normally it’s just a few minutes and he is coming to me and wanting to be with me quicker. So give him some space to unwind if he needs it while you focus on making home a sweet, peaceful place for him. In our season right now , I *TRY* to stop what I’m doing when he tells me he’s headed home so I can prep for him to get there. Typically, I try to make our bed if I haven’t already and tidy up our bedroom and living room. I normally ask if he’s hungry and when he wants me to start dinner, and I try to have a glass of water ready for him when he walks in. I like to have a candle lit so it smells homey and cozy and normally I have either the TV or some music playing. Now obviously all of these things don’t happen every single day, but I just want him to love coming home to me and to feel peaceful while he’s there and rejuvenated when he goes back to work the next day. So if you’re not sure what would make your husband love coming home to you, ask him. What are things that he likes walking into after a long day at work?
6. Pray for him.
“Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and suupplllication for all the saints.” Ephesians 6:18 (NKJV)
Obviously this is the number one way you can support your husband. Pray for him. Pray for his job, his co-workers, his boss, his travel to and from, his conversations while he’s there, for him to do his best work, to shine the light of the Lord, all of it. And pick a time when you do this every day. I always pray for my hubby as I watch him drive away. Not only does doing it at the same time every day eventually become a habit, but I can pray for specific things on specific days if I know he needs it. It also puts my mind at peace throughout the day because I know that I have lifted him up to the Lord.
Hubbys and marriage are such a sweet gift from the Lord. And I want to be the best “helper” that I can to mine. I think supporting him at/in his job is something that is so overlooked lots of time. While these ideas might take a bit of an attitude adjustment for you (I definitely had to check myself and still do), I don’t think any of them are “HARD” to accomplish.
I would love to know if you already do or if you start implementing these ideas! Leave a comment! Is there anything I’m missing?! How do you support your husband in his career?
If you are looking for some extra ways to love on you husband, you might like this post.
If you’re a military girlfriend, then you might enjoy this post.
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