I didn’t know literally ANYONE who was currently in the military when I met my husband. Like anyone. I knew nothing about military life or how it worked or what to expect. NOTHING. I never thought my husband would be in the military!
While I’m DEFINITELY NOT a seasoned pro at this military wife thing, in the short year-ish that we have been married, there are a few things that I wish someone would have just told me before we ever even got engaged. My sweet MIL is also a military wife, so she was SO helpful for me to talk to. If I didn’t have her, I would have REALLY been overwhelmed! I wish I would have known these things while I was dating my Hubs and we were just talking about getting married so that getting engaged and knowing that I was going to marry into the military life wouldn’t have been QUITE as much to wrap my head around. So that’s what I’m sharing with you today! And hopefully it will make you be this excited for your new life on your wedding day too!
- Don’t get overwhelmed by all you don’t know: If you’re dating someone in the military, I am betting that he has thrown out an acronym at you that you had no CLUE what it meant! Or he has mentioned something- either about his assignment, his job, his day, whatever- that you had NO IDEA about! That’s OKAY!!! Don’t feel like you have to pretend to know everything. Chances are there are other wives/girlfriends around too that you could ask if you’re at some sort of a work event! I felt like I needed to pretend to know what I didn’t right off the bat, and now I realize that all the other girls around didn’t know things right away either! Plus, you can ask your boy if you really want to know/understand- I bet he would love explaining things to you!
- The girls you meet are looking for friends too: So I know moving around can be super unappealing. Totally had that same thought. But, chances are there will be other girls at your station that are also looking for friends and not local to your new assignment area either. They are all learning their way around trying to find the nearest Starbucks and Target too. And the ones that have lived there longer have probably had some of their friends move away and wouldn’t turn down the chance for new friends either. Having this attitude really helped me when we made our first move together, and I have met some GREAT girls and have made some forever friends! So go to coffee or lunch, play at the parks with the babies, go on walks- hang out with the other girls that are there going through the same thing as you! You just might meet a new bestie or two! 🙂
- You will learn to roll with the punches: If you end up marrying a military boy, there is probably going to be alot of things that you just have no control over. Where you live, when you move there, how often you move, when your husband is gone…you just can’t control everything. I have DEFINITELY learned how to just go with the flow and make the most of the circumstances that I currently am in. Even if that is making a crock pot meal knowing my hubs will be home late or cleaning while I wait for him to get home. Otherwise, I would probably be pretty miserable. Realizing that you can’t control everything will make it WAY easier on you to be content and happy with whatever circumstance you’re thrown into.
- Making the best of things might not seem natural or easy, but it helps IMMENSELY: You might have to go live in the middle of nowhere town in the state that you have never been to for a little while. Or your boyfriend who is now your husband might be gone for what you feel like is forever. It is easier to be negative and dwell on everything that is hard about that particular situation. It is. But, CHOOSING to be positive and trying to see the good things about what you’re going through not only changes your attitude, but it makes you more supportive of your boy because you’re not focusing only on yourself and helps develop better friendships because you’re happier and more fun to be around.
- You will grow so much as a person: I am a completely different person since marrying my military boy. I have learned things about myself, tried new things, stepped out of my comfort zone, become more comfortable being on my own, and just really become a better version of myself. I think part of this is being married to such a great husband and part of it is having to grow from this military life, but either way, I feel like a new person since doing this military-wife thing. But I like who I am SO much more now than I ever did before. So don’t be scared of growth! 🙂 You’ll stay you- just a more grown up version!
- Everyone you meet doesn’t know who you were before: New people that you meet don’t know what you were like in high school or college or at your current job. You have the chance to be the best version of yourself around these new people! So if you’re shy and wish you were more outgoing, be friendly and inviting! If you talk too much and feel like you say the wrong thing all the time, you can count to three before you say anything! Whatever it might be, you have a fresh start in this phase of your life, and everyone can use a fresh start every now and then.
- Everything is a season: Just remember that in the military life, you will have lots of seasons! Your husband will probably be gone some- that’s a sesason. You might not love a station/assignment- that’s just a season. Maybe you get really homesick- just a season. Even if your boyfriend is saying that he wants to make the military his career- that will just be a long season. lol. 🙂
- It is SO rewarding: It is the most amazing thing to get to watch the man that is your husband serve his country and be a part of something so much bigger than himself. I really wish someone would have told me just how proud I could be.
If you are in a serious relationship talking about marriage with a military boy, I hope that this encourages you if you’re feeling scared or unsure about it. If he’s the one, then girl, you will just love your life with him. It won’t always be easy, but it really is so fun.
Let’s be friends!
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